Thinking out loud
by GeekMom13
Summary: Snippets of the love and life of Harry and Theo


**I own nothing you recognize. This is from a songfest I took part in called "Sing Me A Rare"**  
 **My song is "Thinking Out Loud" by the fabulous Mr Sheeran.  
**

 **This is one of my favourite pieces I've written recently. It didn't get an award, but that's okay! I loved the pieces that did.**

* * *

"This is stupid."

"Oh no. No. We are _not_ doing this again Theo."

"I mean, he _hates_ attention. What in Merlin's name was I thinking, saying I would do this?"

"You were thinking that maybe Blaise and I know what we're talking about!"

"But-"

"No. I will drag Pansy in here if you don't get your arse out there."

"Draco-"

"No. For fuck's sake Theodore. The man flat out told you he thought you were too ashamed of him. And here you stand, and you know what? I'm starting to think he was _right_. Maybe you _haven't_ let go of your family lessons. Too good for a ruddy half-blood, huh?"

"Draco... I will murder you slowly if you _ever_ say that again. I was the first one of us to ignore all the bloody rules our fathers gave us. I dragged you into the realm of common sense. And you fucking _know_ I don't think I'm too good for him. He's too fucking good for me. I don't deserve him. Have you watched him tonight? Dean makes him _happy_ and here I am, the selfish jerk of Slytherin- preparing to steal him back."

"Which you won't accomplish if you don't get out there."

Theo glared at him once more for good measure. Draco ignored him and fixed his robes, peeking around the corner and giving a signal to Blaise to put on a slow song. He shoved Theo out of the alcove before he had a chance to change his mind _again_.

He awkwardly approached the couple he was aimed at. Dean was giving him an unreadable look.

"Um, can I cut in?" Theo asked, cursing the nerves in his voice.

His ex-boyfriend looked over and narrowed his eyes, "I'm not sure that's wise. People will see us, Nott."

"Please. I just..." he let out a breath and let his shoulders drop, "Just, please."

"Fine, Dean... This won't take long."

Dean looked between Harry and Theo, wondering if they realized just how _wrong_ that assessment was. It was obvious that neither man wanted it to end quickly.

"I, uh... I was never ashamed of you, you know that right?"

"It's hard to tell that Theo. You never wanted to be seen in public with me as anything besides friends, and even that took a year. I deserve someone who-"

Theo cut him off with a kiss, the first thing even remotely romantic he had done in public with the other dark haired man. He rested his forehead against Harry's, "I always thought you could do better. I... I thought if we went public, you would get so many letters telling you _why_ I'm a bad idea. And trust me. There are _so many_ reasons. I didn't want to lose you, and so I hid."

"You didn't think that maybe I fucking loved you _enough_ to get past that?"

Theo looked down, maybe the months it took him to work up the courage to tell him Harry had moved on, "Okay, I'll... I'll leave you alone. I just couldn't let you think you weren't good enough. You deserved to know that it was my own insecurities, nothing about you. Except just how bloody much you meant to me."

He walked away, not willing to see the pity that he was sure would be in Harry's eyes at his declaration. He was stopped with a hand on his shoulder. _Fuck_.

"I always hated that about you. Actually, I hated your father for that."

Theo tensed, he had no clue where this was leading.

"I would never let you go because of what some prejudiced bag of hot air said."

"Instead I pushed you away."

"Yeah, but if you promise never to do it again..."

Theo turned around and found his favourite smile on Harry's lips, the one that always promised a _very_ enjoyable trip to a hidden spot as soon as possible.

"... and you prove it to me right now, we can try again."

Theo almost knocked Harry over with the second kiss, desperate to put to words his promises.

 _I won't doubt you this time.  
_ _I won't let you go.  
_ _I will let every fucking person know you are mine.  
_ _I will love you forever._

"I love you."

"I know, Theo. I love you too."

"I'm sorry about Dean."

Harry snorted, "he's only here with me because Seamus is off visiting his Gran."

"Oh."

"You thought I brought a date?"

"Yeah."

"I'm still in love with you, why would I do that?"

"You're-"

"Yes, you idiot. Why else would I say it."

"Oh, right. I still love you too."

Harry leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Then let's dance and then I'm going to drag you into the bathroom and then I'm going to remind you _exactly_ how much I enjoy hearing that. I've missed the taste of your love."

Theo shuddered and lead him in a waltz, holding him a little closer than was proper, pulling Harry's head against his chest.

Dean was standing by the bar, watching with a smirk.

"Sorry mate."

"For what?"

"Helping him steal your date."

"Malfoy, Harry wasn't my date. Not in any way that mattered. I'm married to Seamus."

"Oh right, where is the unlucky sod?"

"Off in Kenmare with his Gran."

* * *

Theo woke up warm. Far too warm. Why the bloody hell was it this fucking warm? He went to shift and realized _why_ it was so warm. Harry normally woke up first and left Theo to sleep in a bit. But today, he was still cuddled into Theo's side, gently snoring.

Apparently, the boy who lived drooled in his sleep... fantastic.

Half of him wanted to enjoy the rare morning cuddles and the other half really, _really_ needed to pee.

As he was trying to make his decision, Harry shifted a little closer and he decided that maybe he could wait a bit. He closed his eyes and pulled wrapped his arm a little tighter around Harry.

"Love, if you don't wake up soon, you'll be late for work."

"No."

"Yes love, come on now."

"S'not a problem."

Harry buried his face against Theo, trying to block the sun out.

"Yes, it is. I think even _you_ would get in trouble for not showing up."

"I took the day off. Now shut up and go back to sleep."

"You never take days off."

"S'my birthday."

"No, that's in July. It's May."

"Then for your birthday."

"That's in February love."

"Then for our anniversary."

"Now you're talking November."

"Then call it our negative first wedding anniversary. Just go back to sleep you prat."

"Negative first... did you just propose?"

"That's your job, now hush before I bite you."

Theo looked down at Harry, wondering if he was even awake for that conversation. Either way, he had some plans to make- next May 15th there would be a wedding.

* * *

They were walking down the street in Diagon, holding hands. Harry kept glancing over at Theo.

"I know something is wrong."

"No, not at all."

"Is it this?" he asked, holding up their linked hands.

"No, Merlin no. I learned from that mistake love."

"Then what? You're never this awkward. That's my thing."

Theo leaned over and kissed his temple, "don't worry love. It's nothing you need to think about."

"Okay. If you insist."

They kept walking and Theo kept looking up at the window of the Weasley's shop. Finally, he saw what he was looking for- George opening the window. He led them to the front of the shop as George watched. This was either going to be insanely romantic or he would have to leave Britain. Maybe he'd find out about Australia.

"ATTENTION DIAGON ALLEY!" the voice of George Weasley boomed over the crowd as he sat on the hat before it started to lift again.

"WE NEED YOU TO CLEAR THIS AREA. EXCEPT YOU TWO."

Theo pulled Harry in front of him and rested his head on the top of Harry's. It took him a month to convince George to help him with this and another three months to get the charms just right on the display.

George set off the first explosion, a red lion prowling around, roaring at the crowd below its massive paws. The second firework was a snake that twisted through the air before winding through the lion's mane. Harry turned to Theo who just smiled and pointed back at the sky, gently taking a step back from him.

George waved his wand to clear the animals, much to the disappointment of some of the children on the street.

Theo nodded up at George before preparing the box in his pocket. The next explosion left the words "Marry Me" shimmering in the air, sparkling in a brilliant gold and silver.

Harry turned around to find Theo on one knee, closed box in his hands.

"Love, when I picture the future, it's always you next to me. I want you there when we're both relying on ridiculous canes to walk- I'll buy you a lion's head and I'll have my snake. I want you when that impossible mop of hair is long gone. I want you when we finally forget everything. Marry me, Harry Potter. Let me keep you smiling that real smile forever."

He opened the box and Harry started to laugh. Theo had a ring custom made to match the fireworks, a lion prowled around the golden ring with a snake perched on top of its head. He didn't want to squeak out an answer, so he just nodded and held out his hand. Theo slipped the ring on and pulled Harry into a kiss- George set off more fireworks as the crowd cheered.

* * *

They decided to have a small wedding and host a party later. The most important thing to them was the creation of the handfasting cord.

Hermione had found a book in the Black family library that had been used centuries ago for arranged marriages - though, beginning with that part of the explanation led to a blow-up of all their friends.

Draco had been the first to notice the fact that Hermione seemed _pleased_ with the fight.

She smirked and pointed at the book, motioning for him to come take a look.

His laughter drew everyone's attention.

He tapped the book a few times, looking around the room as everyone started to tell him why it wasn't funny.

Harry finally caught on and called out, "I think we're missing something."

She smiled, "Yes. There's a reason I suggested this one."

Draco nudged her, giving a questioning look and she nodded for him to read from the book.

"When a family is not able to offer their protection to the bride or groom, a special cord is wound by their closest friends."

Harry smiled at Hermione, "So what does it entail?"

"Each person has a colour and we weave them together with the spell, each colour is slightly different."

"How many people do we need?"

"Thirteen."

Theo counted heads, there were fifteen people sitting there.

"And what is the spell?"

Hermione grabbed a paper from the stack on the table, "In general we will each say _tie into this marriage_ and then the attribute we are representing."

Draco pointed at the one line, "For example: if I was in charge of red, I would say _et texentes subtilia in quo matrimonium passion, tutelae fortitudinem meam_."

"Everyone has the same wand movement, so that part is easy. The wand will join the cords into a flat ribbon, with our protection over the couple But we need to find who represents which colour best."

After a _lot_ of arguing Harry and Theo were looking over a list:  
Red - Passion and strength - Pansy  
Pink - Honour and Romance - Blaise  
Orange - Bounty and mutual support - Astoria  
Yellow - Joy and Harmony - Greg  
Green - Service and Prosperity - Draco  
Brown - Grounding in nature and Home - Ron  
Blue - Patience, Devotion and Peace - Neville  
Purple - Power, Humility and Responsibility - Seamus  
White - Focus and Purity of Thought - Luna  
Grey - Balance, Solidity and Unity - Dean  
Black - Wisdom and Vision for the Future - Kingsley  
Silver - Values and Inspiration - Susan  
Gold - Energy, Intelligence and Life Force - Hermione

"Okay, so we're all agreed?"

Everyone nodded. Hermione wrote out the pronunciation for everyone and they all practised, Draco and Theo helping her correct wand movements and pronunciations.

Eventually, everyone was ready to offer their love and protection for the new couple.

Each person laid their string in Theo's hand, saying "Ego offerre mea litora mea, et benedicebant praesidium"

Harry laid his hand over Theo's, trapping the strings between them. They both said "Ieiuniis et manus funem curabit nos corporis corde et justo."

The ends of the strings glowed and fused as one.

Everyone raised their wands, the strands slowly formed a flat braid as they wound around each other. Soon all the strands were floating before Theo and Harry, waiting to be clasped in their open hands.

Once they held the ends, everyone touched the rope and said together: "Multa varietate contextum huius matrimonii benedictione"

The end of the ribbon fused together and glowed a bright white.

"That means it worked."

"That was wicked!"

* * *

A week later, the same group and a few more gathered. In all, there were just under fifty guests, all sworn to secrecy so the wizarding world wouldn't gate-crash the small park near the house they bought. Teddy was the box bearer and Victoire was the ring girl. They had both hated their original jobs and opted to switch when they practised the night before. Kingsley was officiating and they had a single photographer.

There was an article in the Prophet with them surrounded by the thirteen people who had claimed them as family and swore their protection.

Hermione was the first who got to exercise that right.

She created a charm to destroy all incoming howlers and cursed envelopes.

There was a constant pile of ash outside their house, no matter how much the elves tried to keep it clear.

From the few that had begun shouting before she could come cast the spell, it was equal parts "how could you marry that half-blood who destroyed our Lord", "why wasn't I invited?" and "How could you marry a death eater's son?"

They hadn't even started sorting the non-cursed letters, though they were guessing most would be just as angry. Draco was currently working on a way to sort through that lot without dealing with the hatred.

But for now, they just ignored the growing pile and prepared themselves for the coming pain that was public appearances.

Theo still hadn't fully gotten past his desire to shield Harry from the people around them, which led to Harry getting tense and snippy.

"Well, I suppose we should get out there."

"Do we have to?"

"Yes... If they don't get to fawn over us they'll never let it go."

Harry nodded his ascent and let Theo guide him out into the room.

Their first dance song was _obviously_ picked by Draco. At least he kept a waltz for them.

But it was a clear jab at Ron, who had been mistaken for the singer a few times out in muggle London. The first time it happened, the four of them were out when Ron had been swarmed by girls squeaking out about _finding Ed_ and Draco had spent the better part of a month teasing him about it.

Harry shot a look at Draco and Theo did his best not to laugh- at least it was a fun song to listen to.

* * *

"Are you sure?"

"Why do you keep asking that! Do you think we shouldn't? Do you think I'd-"

"I don't think you'd do _anything_ Harry. It's just... what will people say?"

Harry grabbed his coat and stormed off to Merlin knows where.

Theo just stared at the place his husband just disappeared from, arm still out in a half-hearted attempt to stop him.

They both needed time away. Harry needed to blow off a good bit of steam, he'd probably go to Granger's house and call whoever was up for a duel. Times like these he wondered if she kept the duelling court specifically for this.

Theo, on the other hand, had to think. Well, that and drink. Thinking and drinking helped him suss out how he managed to piss off his Gryffindor husband with so few words. Too bad Luna wasn't around with her strangely observant ways. It takes much longer without that insight.

By nightfall, he assumed it was the general fact that he didn't feel the same about surrogacy. Harry was willing to fly into it right away.

And he knew it made _sense_. They were the last in their lines.

They needed to do this or let their family names die.

He was _more_ than willing to let the Nott name be forgotten forever.

It was a week before Hermione came knocking down his door. Literally.

She was a touch dramatic.

"Theodore Thoros Nott!"

" _Potter_ -Nott."

"Now is not the time. Why haven't you come to fix things?"

"I- he always comes home."

She sent a stinging hex at him, mumbling something about moronic purebloods before snagging his hand and dragging him to the apparation point.

"But- my door."

She glared at him before tossing a reparo over her shoulder, not breaking her stride at all. She didn't give any warning as she hit the small warded area they set up and twisted on her heel. When they landed, he fell to the ground, trying not to see his dinner make a repeat appearance.

They were in the middle of the duelling court, it was destroyed.

Beyond destroyed.

The place was only recognizable by the defined safety barriers that held all destruction inside.

Apparently, it had been a rough week for anyone coming against Harry.

"Now, you are going to get your arse in there and _fix it._ I'm going to fix this, _again_."

"Again?"

"Yes, _again.._. And if you don't leave that house with a happy husband on your arm I will be testing my repair work. _On you_."

He swallowed and nodded his head, quickly heading towards her house.

"Harry?"

He looked around after there was no response, slowly making his way through the house calling out for him. He eventually found him curled up on the guest bed.

"Love?"

"Theo?"

"I'm right here."

Harry almost knocked him over when he jumped up to hug him, "I thought you were done with me again."

"No, I promised you."

"Home?"

"Not just yet. I thought about it. I'm still not sure what upset you so much, but... I want a kid. A Potter."

"Just Potter? What about your name?"

"Nott? The only thing it ever did was create the list of names that caused two fucking wars."

"We can fix it."

"I think, I think I'd rather let it die. I want that to be my legacy. The one who acknowledged when letting it burn was the better option."

Harry pulled him a little closer, "Okay then, we're going to have kids."

"Kid, singular kid. Once we pick a witch."

"Kid _s_. One for each of us, even if we only give them the Potter name."

"I think I can deal with that."

* * *

It hadn't taken much for Luna to agree to be the surrogate for the boys.

In fact, they hadn't even started to ask the question when Luna responded that she would be the mother- since the Umgubular Slashkilter had told her she would be expecting a dark-haired, green-eyed daughter soon and as her boyfriend was blonde it was simply obvious. She also mentioned that there was to be a curly-haired brother so Theo should probably ask Hermione soon.

Hermione was a little more difficult.

It started with a good bit of laughter, and once she realized they were serious, Theo took over convincing her.

"It only makes sense. Harry needs to be balanced by Luna's calm demeanour and her eerie way of knowing things. And if anyone can balance out my general stupidity it would be the brightest witch of our age."

Harry piped in after that "Plus, you're like my sister, so... yuck."

"You do realize that there would be actual sex right?"

"Well, I mean yeah but..."

After another round of laughter, Hermione accepted. Both girls were able to go through the procedure within a few days of each other, and no one was shocked to find that Hermione was carrying a boy and Luna was carrying a girl. The pregnancies were a fun mix of Harry and Theo pissing off, then getting hexed by, Hermione and them trying to sort what of Luna's talk was _actually_ relevant to the pregnancy.

"I was thinking James Theodore for the boy."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. I mean if you don't-"

"I just figured you'd want your name."

"Well, James is for my Dad and well, you probably wouldn't want your Dad's name..."

Theo hugged Harry, resting his chin on Harry's head, "I love it. I'm- thank you."

Harry wrapped his arms around Theo, "Any ideas on the girl?"

"No, but I was thinking of something else..."

"What?"

"It's about the Nott name."

Harry smiled, he had seen the difference in the way Theo felt at the last appointment, they were finally able to see some of the features clearly, "I told you when this started, I don't-"

"I want to only be a Potter."

"What?"

"I don't want them to be Potter-Notts. And I don't want to not match our kids."

"But- I... Merlin, Theo, that's a huge step."

"I know. And I want to name her to be Lily Noel. For our mums."

Harry just held Theo closer and kissed his neck.

Lily was born early in the morning on September third and James followed a few days later, on the ninth.

* * *

"THEO!"

He dropped his head against the back of the couch. That tone from Draco always promised a ridiculous temper tantrum.

"What do you _want_ Draco?"

"She's CORRUPTING SCORPIUS!"

"Scorpius was plenty corrupt on his own."

"She's going to turn him into a damn _Hufflepuff_."

"Isn't that one cousin of yours Hufflepuffs?"

"We are _not_ talking about Teddy right now."

"I mean if any of the kids around him are responsible I'd place money on Teddy."

"THEO! This isn't funny!"

"I think it is."

"And then James just sits off to the side giving her _ideas_."

"Yeah, I think he'll be in Slytherin."

"Theo. Focus."

He had to bite his cheek to avoid laughing. Draco was being rather dramatic.

"Why don't you have some firewhiskey and tell me what _awful_ Hufflepuff things my darling Lily has talked little Scorpius into doing."

"She made him change the rules so the little Weasley brat could join in the game."

"How is that a bad thing? I thought you liked him."

"I do. But she had him change the _entire game_ by just pointing out that Hugo's broom couldn't fly as high."

"Again, not seeing the huge issue here."

"Are you _kidding_ me, Theo? She didn't even say it wasn't fair. She just said _oh, Hugo can't fly as high_. And Scorp just... just _changed the rules_."

Harry walked in behind Draco, laughing, "I told you he wouldn't care."

"You've been ruined by Potter!"

"Well, if we're getting technical here-"

"NO! No sex details. You _promised._ "

"But Draco, don't you want to know who's the _ruined_ one?"

"I'm so done with both of you," Draco mumbled as he trudged back outside to watch the kids playing pickup Quidditch again.

* * *

"I guess now we get to see if you actually did manage to make the first ever Hufflepuff Malfoy."

"Shut it, Nott."

"Oooo. Still a sore spot huh? And it's _Potter_."

"Fuck off."

The men were sitting at the table, waiting for the letters from their kids after the sorting. Lily had promised to force all five of the first-years in their friend's circle to write home with how they were sorted. Her Aunt Hermione had apparently taught her a handy little charm to make sure that they would listen. The women were off on their annual spa day- it was a tradition after Draco had a fit about Teddy's sorting.

As they were finishing up a round of firewhiskey, the first owl tapped on the windows, Theo waved his wand and let the bird in.

"Looks like she got to James first," Harry said, noting his son's sloppy handwriting.

He popped the seal and chuckled, passing the letter to Theo as an Eagle owl swooped in. "Well, so far we're right. James was Slytherin."

Draco let out squeak- though, he'd probably never admit it. Blaise snatched the letter from him before laughing out loud.

"Oh, Merlin Draco! He actually _is_ a Hufflepuff!"

"Shut up Zabini."

Theo shook his head, Scorpius had never shown an inkling of his Dad's Slytherin side- and though he did share a great bit of Luna's Ravenclaw intelligence, he was, without a doubt, destined for Hufflepuff from the start. He and James were the only two that no one doubted _._ Well, except for Draco... but he didn't _really_ count.

Blaise's first son had been sorted into Ravenclaw and Ron's daughter had been sorted into Gryffindor.

They were all just waiting on Lily's sorting. The girl really could have landed anywhere. The final owl dropped in, Lily was a Slytherin with her brother.

* * *

Harry was cuddled in Theo's arms, watching as the sun started to break through their windows. They had big plans for today- though, Harry wasn't supposed to _actually_ know they had plans. It was their fifteenth anniversary and he had planned out the entire day for them.

Theo started to move around, pulling Harry closer like he did every morning right as he woke up.

"Morning Theo."

"M'nin love."

Harry chuckled, "Come on love, let's hop in the shower. I want to get ready before Pansy barrels in with her annual celebration cakes."

"But I love mentally scarring her!"

He climbed out of bed, grabbing the top blanket and wrapping it around himself as he wandered to the bathroom.

"Why do you always do that?"

Theo turned around, a little confused, "Do what?"

"Cover up."

"Well, I mean... I'm not as young as I was when we got started."

"Neither am I. Theo... we first got together when we were 23... We're almost 40."

"Exactly."

"You're so dense. I don't care that you've gotten older!"

"Really?"

Harry raised his eyebrow, climbing out of bed, "Are you saying I still look the same? Because, if so, we might need to get you checked for glasses too."

Theo ducked his head, letting his hair cover some of his blush.

"Now, drop the blanket and remember that when I said I'd love you forever, it includes young and built, forty and pudgy, and it will include when you're seventy and can barely get out of bed without help."

"I will not be incapable of movement at seventy and what about after then, you going to ditch me for a younger model?"

Harry shoved his shoulder and dragged him into the bathroom, laughing at the man he fell in love with.

* * *

Translations:

et texentes subtilia in quo matrimonium passion, tutelae fortitudinem meam. (weave in this marriage passion, strength and my protection)

Ego offerre mea litora mea, et benedicebant praesidium (I offer my strand with my love, protection and blessing)

Ieiuniis et manus funem curabit nos corporis corde et justo. (Our handfasting cord will bind us together, body, mind, heart and magic.)

Multa varietate contextum huius matrimonii benedictione(Many blessing woven into this marriage)


End file.
